Drawings are pouring out of me. They started as doodling, now they carry stories. Stories of healing, faith and renewal. It’s rather cathartic. ❤️‍🔥

𝓕𝓾𝓵𝓵 𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷 𝓲𝓷 𝓥𝓲𝓻𝓰𝓸 𝓣𝓸𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓛𝓾𝓷𝓪𝓻 𝓔𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓹𝓼𝓮

I might share another one, too. This one is a bit of a “self-portrait”. I stuffed up Charlotte’s web up in the corner. I guess the great thing about spider webs is, she is not afraid to start over. She doesn’t let fear or doubt hold her back. She can weave her magick again... 💫 🕸️🕷️

I’ve been planning what will go into the ground next spring. For those who joined me here recently, 2 years ago I took a big leap of faith and sold my 5 acre farm, went on a profound inner healing journey and from that healed place decided to start over from scratch. With healthy foundations, healthy mindset. Always keeping that dream of fields of flowers alive. Last year a beautiful 10acre block found me. A new place to call home. I believe this place is a reflection of my inner world and a second chance at doing things in life, but with a healthy mindset this time. A clean slate.

With the help of wonderful friends, I’m hoping to put some fences up this spring. I’m starting with much smaller than I hoped, around 30m*25m growing area, but I’m hoping to extend much further over time. A new studio, a larger bell tent, an outdoor bath… And flowers. Lots of flowers. I’m planning on growing everything and anything. Definitely a big patch of peony roses. I do want to focus on what dries well for my floral crowns, too.

I love using the garden metaphor. We are the gardeners of our lives. We get to decide what seeds to sow in our inner gardens. Our dreams are like the tiny seeds from which beautiful tomorrows grow. But it’s not as easy as just throwing a seed into the ground. You need to nurture the seed, give it the right environment, water it, pull the weeds out that are stunting its growth. So it can come into full bloom. We are too like those seeds. With the right environment and plenty of nurture and weeding the things that don’t serve us, we can too come into full blossom.

I’m excited for this journey. Transforming 10 acres of glorious land into my Heaven on Earth. My sanctuary. A place built with love. One flower at a time ♥️🙏

And like a Wildflower, I want to be wild and free. Walking bare feet and feeling connected with Mother Earth. Sitting under canopy of stars. Swimming naked in the ocean. Listening to my guides and spirit animals. Walking with Spirit. Listening to the wisdom of my soul… And free. Free from pain & trauma, free from false perceptions & expectations of others. Free from my own self limiting beliefs. Free to express my unique beauty.

Growing bravely wild and free in a world plagued by conformity. These are the perks of being a Wildflower 🌸

From my heart to yours. Marta x 

We are cyclical beings. It doesn’t matter how old you are. We go though seasons constantly and each cycle takes different amount of time for everyone. Which part of your life might be in winter season? Is it time to come out of hibernation yet?
I’m working on the new project at the moment, a reflection of my inner world. Spring season of my life. Oh the promise of new beginnings and growth. Part of it is a crown and for a couple of months I knew it had to be yellow.
If you too are at the Spring season of your life, give your solar plexus spring clean, a boost. Surround yourself with yellow, sound healing is an amazing tool, some yoga poses can help open up this chakra, too. Consume yellow (ginger and turmeric are excellent). Then fill it with all the golden yumminess from the Universe, that Mother Nature provides. You don’t need to know how to do it. Just give permission & be open to receive. Draw into your solar plexus, just above the belly button, all the colour yellow from the plant kingdom, light from the Sun & see an orb of light spinning beautifully around your solar plexus chakra. Let it take what it needs and then if you wish move the energy & fill your whole entire body with this light, every cell, every organ, your DNA. You may even wish to use I CAN affirmations.
You have life and you have freedom and
you have the ability to build
the thing that you've always wanted.
Dream big.

It was my birthday last Saturday and we celebrated it at the block in a truly royal style with a red velvet cake, my throne and the crown. Such a profound moment for me. All been leading to this crown. To this throne. To this place… Although it wasn’t really a moment. It took some real deep diving deep into my psyche in order to heal. It took a period of recovery in order to let go of what was not authentically mine. And with a lot of inner work, freeing my mind from old outdated believes, old ancestral patterns, from projections and opinions of others. To reclaim my mind. To make my inner world my own. This place represents my inner world. The Queendom I made on my own. No guides, no gurus, no teachers. Just drawing on my soul’s wisdom and listening with my heart. We always have all the tools needed. And now I get to decide what makes me ME and what seeds to sow next, what foundations to build, what paths to create, areas in my psyche to explore.

Aligning mentally, physically and spiritually with the energy of the Queen of Wands in tarot. So much symbolism and so much meaning in both the crown and the throne. Fully immersing myself in the creative process helps me to embody the energy I want to attract into my reality. It’s not what you want that you attract, but what you believe. You have to be it to manifest it ♥️

From my heart to yours. Marta Xx

My rose coloured glasses shattered and I finally realised how little I was willing to accept... I had my final tower moment regarding a connection at the beginning of 2020 ( in tarot tower signifies a pretty brutal & painful collapse of old beliefs, faulty foundations etc) where I realised I actually didn’t believe I deserved to be loved.

I grew up without a healthy male figure. My dad passed away only 3 years after my brother (closely followed by passing of my uncle and my granddad). I was 9 when dad passed away. Mum was dealing with her pain (and skewed perception of masculinity for reasons I might never find out). Now, this is not parent bashing post. I know she did the best she could with her trauma, the tools and the support she had. But growing up without the needed amount of (parental) emotional support to get through what happened in 1983 had a huge impact on me and it spilled over all of my relationships: friends, colleagues, bosses, lovers... I would sacrifice my happiness to please others. Part of my childhood trauma surrounding my brothers death was that I always felt (subconsciously of course) responsible for others happiness. If I sensed other’s pain, sadness I subconsciously thought it was my fault and I’d do anything to keep people happy. People pleasing, no boundaries, sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of others’ happiness was a big part of me. All subconscious and well intended of course. I was never good with relationships. I'd always end up with emotionally unavailable people. And because of my lack of boundaries and self worth, I’d let people take me, my love, my kindness for granted and take advantage of me. So I preferred to stay away from them altogether. There was a voice deep within me that would question: "Who would love me anyway, right?!". Universe listens. You manifest the energy you vibrate at. Remember, our inner world creates our outer world. “As above so below. As within so without”. Do you feel stuck anywhere? Blocked? Look around your environment. Can you see dampness, coldness, stagnation??? Pay attention to your body. Are there any ailments? Work on your inner self and you’ll see the change manifest in your reality. Like magick.

I truly believe my dark night of the soul was triggered by this one, divinely orchestrated connection. A soul mate, twin flame, karmic, divine counterpart. Whatever you name it, it was a strong soul contract we’ve signed up for. In my past life regression I’ve done for myself, I learnt we’ve done it many lives before. The soul tie was insane. The telepathy, the attraction. Like moth to a flame... The feeling of longing for home I had all my life was all of a sudden gone. I never felt anything like this for anyone ever before. But our wounding got in the way. We’ve done that hot and cold dance before. It was time to end that karmic cycle.

Spirit communicates with me via all sorts of ways. All sorts of things. It can be songs, synchronicities, birds, feathers, people, my health, environment, etc. My dreams were profound this time. I started having some reoccurring dreams so I knew I had to look for the message they were trying to give me. It was a snake dream or dreams rather. I’ve dreamt of walking across snake infested waters, I dreamt of a snake under my bed, I dreamt of snakes wrapping themselves around me, I dreamt of snakes in my garden... That snake dream represented an unhealthy pattern, a fear, a connection. I used to be terrified of snakes both in awake and dream state. Now, I’ve learnt how to stay away from them. Same applies to the unhealthy pattern.

I was healing, I was doing really well. Until I gave into it to feel taken for granted again. I did everything I could to cut the tie, but the pull was still there. I felt so stupid. I knew I had more healing to do. Then one night I had a snake dream. I was back at my childhood home. I saw my little self, my inner child standing on the steps. Terrified. A massive snake was slithering her way. I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck. I was stuck in the dream and I was stuck with the connection in 3D, too. The very next day I decided to journey to other worlds to see where and why I was stuck. I asked spirit for answers, to show me, guide me. Help me see, help me hear. First I saw myself in one of my previous lives. Judging by the clothes, setting it was long time ago. I was a young woman who finally decided to leave an unhealthy marriage. I grabbed my children and got on a boat. Unfortunately, there was a huge storm and the ship sank. In my past life, my children did not survive. I finally realised in my journeying there was this insanely deeply rooted, past this life time, paralysing fear of walking away. Something I wouldn’t be able to see and understand without being able to travel to other dimensions. I took a deep breath and asked spirit to help me heal this fear. Surprisingly, I was immediately taken to the same spot from my dream the night before. My little self, my inner child, was standing there again on those steps and a giant snake was making its way towards her. And in that moment I thought: "You're safe, she's safe. No one is going to get hurt." And I summoned all my courage and yelled to the little one “Run!” and pulled a beautiful silver sword and chopped that snake up. I knew, I just did some profound healing work. I finally realised I deserved so much more. I felt finally ready to honour me, my heart and walk away. Do what’s best for me. Wanting to love someone is not enough. They need to be ready to receive our love. A couple of weeks later I had another snake dream. This time it was a male. He thought he was all tough and ended up getting bitten by a snake over and over again. He was standing there for a while, but after taking yet another bite, collapsed. I watched it from behind a glass wall. I was safe. And then I had yet another snake dream! It was in my garden. I was ok. I knew, if I stay away from it I’d be fine, but it did make me feel uncomfortable and I still didn’t like the fact that it was there. The next day I journeyed again. I was taken to his place. There were snakes everywhere. He was sitting on the sofa. Snakes wrapping themselves tight around him. He couldn't move. He looked terrified. He looked at me and said: “Well, what are you looking at?!? You took care of your snakes. Take care of mine!” I hesitated for a moment then replied: “ Not my snakes to take care of...” And I walked away.

Walking away in another dimension helped me manifest it also in my reality. I finally healed my wound of trying to save others stemming from my brother’s death. I finally realised I’m not responsible for other people’s happiness, I don’t need to save anyone. We need to save ourselves first, put that proverbial “oxygen mask on” on ourselves first. Interestingly, this year we didn't have a snake visit. Instead we had a visit from a beautiful Tasmanian Blue-tongued lizard in my cottage garden. A powerful Spirit Animal indeed. My sensitivity used to be taken for granted. I have a new sense of healthy feminine in me. Loving, kind, intuitive, compassionate, heart space wide open, yet assertive, able to stand up for herself and strong enough to roar, if you piss her off. I’ve healed my mother wound, I've healed my father wound. I’ve healed my feminine. I’ve healed my masculine. Yin yang balanced.

Healing my inner child allowed me to arrive at a place I never thought possible. A place of peace and total surrender. I know I’m on my true path now, but there’s no desire to get to the final destination. It’s about the journey and the NOW. And every day I let the spirit and my guides guide me. I have surrendered to the journey fully. And at this stage of my life I don't need to be with anyone. I'm open to it, but there is no desire, no longing to partner up. What's meant for me will not pass me by. I’m truly happy. I like my new sense of true freedom. Freedom from the pain I carried for so long. I feel loved, supported, fulfilled. I’m committed to my personal and spiritual growth. But firstly, I’m committed to myself. Loving myself again. Fully.

Fall in love with yourself. You’re worthy.

From my heart to yours. Marta ✨

"Desiring a state of freedom from desire will not set you free. 

Nothing can set you free, because you are free. 

See yourself with desireless clarity, that is all."

                                                                      ~Nisargadatta

In my younger years, I tried to make myself feel all this by trying to fit in. Essentially pleasing others at the expense of losing myself. Fitting in with expectations and agendas of others. All signs of low self-worth, but when I finally started healing a few years ago, I also realised I’m part of something bigger and I finally saw my uniqueness as a superpower. We are billions of beings in the vast scope of macrocosm. I do too want to feel loved, seen, heard, wanted, but for who I am not for who others want me to be. I no longer care what others think of me. I AM AUTHENTICALLY ME. Not perfect, messy at times, but I know my core truth.

Social media is terrible for that in a world of likes, follows, trends, make-up, youth enhancing cosmetics, weight loss drugs, dating apps, numbing, anything in excess, more gurus and spiritual teachers telling you the only way to move forward to live a happy life. No one knows you better than you do. There is no “ one fit all” way. You are one of a kind. And when you walk in your authentic light, you’re the biggest gift to the world. When you walk in your truth, even though the world around you might be in chaos, everyone around you benefits.

My mantra has always been to live from my heart. Love really is all that matters. And I don’t mean romantic love, but the pure, all encompassing, unconditional energy of the Source. Energy that exists everywhere in the Universe and it transcends space and time. Energy that’s filled with compassion and benevolence.

So, I will continue to listen with my heart, focusing inwardly & filling up my own reserves while connecting with Spirit, Mother Nature, the cycles, signs around me & surrendering even more to the journey.

Love is not about feeling, but BEING. BE LOVE. The force of nature that’s always working towards making good things happen for our own highest good and highest good of all.

I have been documenting my journey of my inner child & ancestral healing, soul retrieval and reclaiming my personal power on other platforms, but I will try to update you on my journey so far by uploading here all the posts I have written on my blog and Wordpress.

So for those sticking around following my journey. Thank you. I see you. And for those not sticking around, thank you for leaving and giving me more room to grow.

From my heart to yours. Marta x

She’s grounded.
She’s rooted.

She’s protected.
She is embodied.

I’m being rewilded. Guided to embrace her energy. Guided to reconnect with my rebellious heart. To be free and unchained and go beyond boundaries. ♥️

And once again it all started with a vision. When I came out of my dark night of the soul about a year ago I longed for wings. I even bought some cosplay feathery wings for a photo, but they never arrived. Spirit had a different plan. I was to MAKE them. Transmute the energy and transform pain and everything that no longer served me including self sabotaging and survival tactics into beauty. Self-love.

So today on this powerful Super New Moon in Aquarius I set an intention. Here’s to spreading my wings and showing the world everything I kept inside.

From my heart to yours. Marta xx

Last week was tough. Over the last couple of years I’ve learnt how to deal with stuff, but every now and then things get to me on a deeper lever. A couple of health issues, tough phase with my middle one, car troubles & the imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head once again. I’m tired. I cried it out. I talked it out. I reached out for help. I rested. The energy felt different the next day. Lighter. I fluffed up my tutu, straightened my crown and made a few phone calls. 

On my way into town I crossed a bridge. After my appointment however I couldn’t cross that same bridge and had to take an alternate route. A journey home that would normally take about an hour took over 3.5 hours instead. The alternate route sent me over a different bridge. It was a tough 3.5 hours and it required a lot of patience. There was no going back and so many times I just wanted to get out of the car and walk. But obviously I had to keep going. I was tired, hungry, my back was killing me. I came home exhausted, but all that time in the car gave me a lot of time to think. The meaning of crossing 2 bridges that day. Coming HOME. Felt like my journey the last few months. 

It’s one thing to dive deep in order to heal, but recovery is a whole different story. Recovery takes time. And it might be a winding road. You need time to figure out what you are going to do with the whole new, healed you. What are you going to do about your battle scars? You need time to gather strength & courage to spread your wings and fly. I’m ready to spread mine & fly. Are you? 🦋 

My photos are my passion. My photos tell a story. MY story. They are my way of capturing the energies I’m feeling, energy I’m in. It’s a whole process. Very often it starts with a vision. Then I work with energy I’m feeling. It’s a very intuitive process for me. I might make a tutu, or wings or a flower crown. Then words come. I can get lost in the creative process. Putting together an image is like meditation for me. Time literally stops.

For a while now I had a vision of walking into the water in a big gown. Way before I made my first tutu. For a couple of days now I knew it’s time to take that photo. I woke up yesterday, but couldn’t decide on the spot where to take my shot. I had 2 in mind. I have a few days to myself while kids are away and can fully get lost in my world. I decided to do both. I knew there was a reason for it. On my way to the second location I knew. Water is emotions. From gloomy, dark, murky waters in the forest to clear, salty waters of an open ocean. Pure water vibrationally is the closest to Source energy. As I walked into the water a wave of emotions washed over me. I felt so alive. Clear.

Now I fully understand my vision of walking into the water. A while back I stepped into some dark waters. Dealt with some unpleasant emotions. And just like with the two bridges the other day, those 2 different bodies of water described my journey perfectly. As a commitment to my healing journey a while back I gifted myself with a ring with lotus flower engraved on it. A symbol of rebirth. Emerging from murky water with clean petals, the lotus is thought of as a symbol of purity & transcendence as well as spiritual purification & liberation. Stepping into the ocean felt baptismal. Walking out I felt victorious. Light & free.

I say do whatever makes you happy. And when you’re met with criticism know that people are coming from their own pain & insecurities. DON’T LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SHINE. 💫

From my heart to yours. Marta x

I begin today by acknowledging the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we gather/meet today and pay my respects to their Elders past and present. I extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples here today.

I've been meaning to write for a while, but Spirit asked me to stay still and quiet. When I do energetic work I like for the energies to settle a little before I share my experiences with the world and there's been a lot to integrate. The last six months have been an extremely intimate time. Just me and Spirit. Diving deep, connecting with the Unseen world. The dialogue loud and clear. My life literally has become a living oracle. Spirits presence almost tangible. Feeling held like never before. Once you wake up and free yourself from the Matrix you open up to the world of amazing possibilities. Finding your own truth, walking in your own light, reclaiming your own personal power, seeing your own Divinity. Seeing the connection between our inner and outer worlds. You open yourself up to being a part of something so much bigger than you. We are after all a direct lineage of the Source Energy. Expression of the Divine. The Creator.

It's been just over six months since I walked away from everything and anything that was holding me back. False sense of security, false sense of power. The last six months have been an incredible journey of finding my core truth. After letting go of everything and anything that was not authentically me, I have from that healed place of innocence and purity been learning who I truly am. My wants. My desires. My truth. No ancestral & childhood wounding, no societal expectations or programming. Just ME and MY authentic truth. The last six months have been all about reclaiming of my personal power. Personal power is not an ego thing. It's confidence thing. It's self worth thing. It's FREEDOM thing. Freedom from perceptions and expectations of others. Freedom from pain and trauma, freedom from self sabotaging beliefs. It's YOU and your pure essence before the narratives of the world screwed you up...

I have done many journeyings, invocations and activations over the last few months. A perfect mix of alchemy and mysticism. If you've been reading my posts you'd know that I very much follow and work with the moon energies. New Moons are great for new beginnings, setting new intentions and Full Moons are great for releasing what no longer serves us. The New Moon affirmations manifesting in our lives around Full Moon. But I think a lot of us get frustrated and impatient because things are not manifesting fast enough. The thing is for big manifestations, profound changes you need to give the Universe time to shift the energies. I like to "follow" the New Moon/ Full Moon in the same star sign rule, but even that can be affected by other planetary transits and alignments. You will notice small changes taking you towards your manifestation, Spirit sending you signs, bread crumbs very quickly, but for the big shift you need to wait for the moon to return to the same sign it was in when you set your intentions during New Moon which is about 6 months. Back in December during the New Moon in Sagittarius I have travelled to my local beach and did a sunrise ritual with my crystal singing bowls. I used heart and solar plexus chakras singing bowls. I set an intention: I AM THE POWER OF ALL MY INCARNATIONS. My intention was not an EGO thing. My intention was about reclaiming my own personal power, reclaiming my voice, my light, my self worth, my soul's wisdom, my core truth. My sovereignty. My Divinity. My right to be free to unapologetically and fearlessly express my true self. And it's not only about actions or the doing, but also expressing oneself with your own true and authentic mindset, thoughts and beliefs, things you stand for in life, things that make you happy. I have recorded that session and it's available for free on my YouTube channel here. In my wildest dreams I didn't expect what was about to unfold for me. You see, when you manifest it's the feeling you want to manifest, the energetic imprint. Don't limit yourself to one specific thing, one specific opportunity, and never one specific person! Do not cast spells for the ex to love you. Respect people's free will and also understand that what's meant for you will not pass you by. And if your ex won't return trust there's someone much better out there for you. Rejection is God's protection.

My purpose this journey was to reclaim my personal power. Power that's been taken from me in this and other incarnations whether it be by shame, force, rape, violence, prosecution, death, as well as power I gave away myself. The moment I believed that the world didn't want me so I made myself needed. The last few months has been returning to the place of purity and innocence. Before all the conditioning, trauma. I went within and allowed time for pure creativity and play. I've connected with my Inner Child and opened the channel for the Divine to pour through me. Inner child is not the child you once were. Inner child is a state of being. Yes, to get there you do have to heal trauma and that includes childhood, but also ancestral trauma. Inner child is a state of being, state of purity before the trauma, the conditioning, before you got sucked into the Matrix. You have to lose, unlearn everything you're not in order to find who you really are. And it's a solo journey. It's between you and Spirit. And your new identity might feel a little strange at first, but you have what it takes and your soul wants this. One by one over the next few months I started reclaiming all the lost and rejected pieces of myself. My connection to Gods. Particularly strong presence of Sun God Ra. I know from my previous journeyings that I come from the Ra/ Isis lineage. I remember one day in February driving to do my morning sunrise ritual cold water swim when Empire of the Sun song came on. I knew it. I've already been studying Greek and Roman mythology for a while, my new "Eye of Ra" ring arrived just a day before. The energy was out of this world. Ra and more Gods and Goddess made themselves present. Ra, Isis, Thoth, Horus, Hades, Persephone, Daphne, Mafdet, Hathor, Bastet, Aurora, Sekhmet, Morrigan, Hekate, Selene, Brigid, Agni, Lilith... I spent as much time as needed wth each and every one of them. Invoking their presence, asking for their blessings, their wisdom, embodying and integrating their essence. You wonder how I did that? I don't follow any rules. I don't follow anyone's steps. I am my own alchemist, my own magician. I go within. I surrender to the energy and let my intuition guide me. I receive a range of messages that guide me towards particular deity: (number) synchronicities, feathers, songs, books, people, crystals, dreams, symbolism, spirit animals. The list could go on and on. You have to be open to receive the information, the light codes. You have to BELIEVE. Keep an open heart, keep and open mind so you recognise the gift, the dialogue when it comes. And the more truly rooted in Source Energy, in Divine light you are the louder the dialogue gets. One of the ways for me to connect with the Goddesses was via crowns. For a few months an urge to own a flower crown was growing on me and the first flower crown I made was for the Full Moon in Gemini ritual and a sleep over in my newly acquired bell tent ( that I have now set up as my healing space) at my friend's Lavender Farm back in December. And then the urge to make crowns grew even stronger on me. I'd make crowns to honour each Goddess coming through. To represent their essence and what they represented for me. The part of me that was abandoned, compromised now ready to be reclaimed. Hekate, the Goddess of the underworld, witchcraft and magic, is very often associated with snakes. Snakes can represent rebirth, but for me personally they also represented toxic and unhealthy patterns. Hekate's crown was adorned in golden snakes. Each snake representing part of me that I've healed, reclaimed and now wear as a crown to remind me of how far I've come. My Inner Child represented by a white stag, my spirit animal, crown adorned with beautiful handmade pastel satin flowers. Representing joy, purity, innocence and freedom to me. Goddess of the Moon Selene's flower crown was made of a homegrown cornflower halo and a triple moon Goddess symbol. Cornflowers enhancing intuition and used in divination. I wore Selene's crown on a beautiful Full Moon in Libra, a 6 month book end of the New Moon in Libra when we officially sold the farm. I held a beautiful Full Moon ritual with candlelight, incense and healing sounds in my bell tent. I also finished off the triple moon Goddess canvas I had drafted during one of my New Moon rituals back in 2021 as a promise of my commitment to my healing journey. With Irish Pagan Goddess Brigid, protectress of the household from fire and calamity, I was guided to weave her cross from reeds I collected around our place. I lit a beautiful wish candle and meditated on the cross while making it to invoke her presence and protection. Only about 5 minutes into the ritual we found 2 runaway cows in our paddock. Brigid being the patroness of farm work and cattle and whos offerings amongst others is milk it was enough of a confirmation for me she accepted my prayers. Incredible powerful invocation took place During New Moon in Aries while invoking the God of eternal fire, Agni. I lit a wish candle and chanted a prayer and sat with the flame. About 6-7 minutes after the candle went out as I was just about to finish up my meditation I noticed a little flame on the last bit of a wick. The flame came back on and grew suddenly. Then two flames joined into one large one and then it went out with a big puff of white smoke. A sign of strong Spirit's presence. I have body tingles as I write this! Two weeks later by the Full Moon I was invited with my energy work and my healing tent to participate in a 3 day long Mid Winter Fire Festival! Of course, I accepted the invitation. It happens to be just before the Lion's Gate Opening. The veil to the Unseen world getting thinner and thinner. I can't wait to work with all the fire Gods and Goddess. I truly feel like I'm coming home where I belong. To help empower others. To help awaken that fire within them. To shine the light on what's toxic and to bring light so the healing can take place.

I also channeled three Goddesses around the time of the conflict breaking out in Ukraine. First, Berehynia the protectoress of women and children, Goddess of hearth standing as a statue in the middle of Kyiv and Aurora Goddess of the Dawn, the new day. Bringer of Light. The third Goddess was a powerful Goddess Bhramari who helped defeat a powerful demon. Her three eyes shone like the sun, the moon, and the eternal fire Agni. I invoked her presence during the ritual to bring peace, love and protection to those affected by conflict in Ukraine. That ritual was recorded and is available to watch for free on YouTube. The two crowns of Berehynia and Aurora I felt guided to auction off to help raise funds for those in need in Ukraine.

Apart from the standard symbolism, to me all those crowns and headdresses represented karmic lessons, the wisdom I've gained. Parts of me, the essence that got compromised and now were being reclaimed. With each crown and headdress I was becoming more and more powerful and more and more rooted in my truth and who I truly am.

I'm a Leo star sign. Leo's are a fire sign and their ruling planet is the Sun. They are also ruled by Solar plexus. Our centre of our personal power. It was all making more and more sense now. I've done some beautiful invocations. Some of them were recorded for the collective and are on YouTube or TikTok, but some were my personal invocations and I've only journaled my experiences in my personal journal. I have been journaling in for over 2 years now and have just started my seventh journal, which aligned with Lilith invocation. So far each journal magically aligned with a chapter, a lesson I was integrating. The number, colour synchronicities were just uncanny. Black journal for my dark night of the soul; purple for crown chakra opening; blue journal when I was going through my throat chakra opening; 6th light green journal aligning with Venusian themes and working out my desires, what makes me happy and safe in this world; red sacral chakra and my creative expression; green for Heart Chakra, etc. Lilith's sacred number is 7, too! Coincidence? No! Lilith is an epitome of female power and strength. She's a Goddess of mystery and transformation. Feminine force of command and strength. A Dark Goddess. I have a very profound Lilith placement in my birth chart and always knew it was significant. Lilith sits conjunct with my ascendant. Which screams self empowerment to me. Interestingly my new journal is yellow. The colour of solar plexus chakra, the centre of our personal power. I've been surrounded by yellow and gold recently. Two of my least favourite colours all my life. Now, I crave them. And red. I even changed my hair colour! As part of the Solar plexus healing ritual I also created a new massage candle called ROAR promoting strength & courage. Infused with a beneficial essential oil blend and coupled with citrine crystal supporting solar plexus. Both the crystal and the candle charged with intention to bring strength and courage and help with reclaiming of one's personal power.

Just like with the Mermaid or She-wolf archetype, Lilith is a female that does not like to be controlled. Who makes her own rules and walks to the beat of her own drum. Conformity is definitely NOT one of her traits. I researched a lot my placements in my birth chart, especially Chiron and Lilith. They are complicated placements. Usually means a lot of childhood trauma, but ancestral trauma being the main issue. And that was absolutely true with me. A lot of stuff affecting me was "previous lives" stuff. Healing wasn't just childhood trauma. It went well beyond that! I realised a while ago that I rejected all the dark Goddesses. And so the last few months has been welcoming back all dark goddesses: Hekate, Morghana, Sekhmet, Lilith... Lifetimes and I mean lifetimes. All the way to the beginning. I, my ancestral feminine, the Divine Mother, the Universal Womb, was descendant from what was portrayed as evil. Because she didn't want to be submissive. She rebelled against being controlled. She wanted to be her own. Because she was powerful and it frightened them. Her ability to see in darkness and shining light on the rotten and toxic. It frightened them. The patriarchy. So they shamed her. Called her dark, evil, crazy. Her ability to work with magic, to manipulate energy, work with dead made her powerful. And they feared her power. They feared what they couldn't control so they cast her out. Her owning and respecting her femininity and feminine powers within made her ever so powerful. The Divine Feminine has this commanding aura around her. RESPECT. HONESTY. LOYALTY. FREEDOM. That's what she demands. Men didn't like not feeling in control so they called her WH0RE! From a sacred pr0stitute, the High Priestess of the Isis Temple to a wh0re and they defiled her Divinity. They poisoned our wombs, the centres of creative force within, with shame and guilt, with force, rape, control, projections, opinions! Our Sacral Chakra is very much connected with s3xuality, but it's also a centre of our creative powers and self expression. So the Divine Feminine might've been in hiding for generations, but it's time for her to rise again. To reclaim her powers. And she'll make herself known. Not by revenge, not by backlash or by taking back what was hers by force. She's a benevolent one. She's loving, caring, intuitive, but don't confuse her kindness for weakness. She's ready to ROAR when her boundaries are not respected. When she senses you want to control her. She'll make herself known by demanding respect by her sheer presence. Her wisdom, her ability too see beyond the veil.

I was afraid. I was afraid to welcome all the dark Goddesses back. I was afraid to be shamed and cast out, to be called crazy, evil. SO I GAVE MY POWER AWAY. I realised that's what they wanted me to think, believe. To keep me silenced so they can stay in control. No more! My own personal spiritual experience has taken me on the journey of reclaiming, healing and awakening of my Divine Feminine within me and honouring my femininity and weaving the magic of sacred rituals into my life. Invoking. Embracing. And the more & more I opened to the dialogue the more I remembered my Divinity. And the more I remembered who I truly was, the more I realised how amazing and powerful I was. What an amazing experience it is to be alive woke and conscious of my own power and magic. No more playing small to please others.

Back in November 2021 around the New Moon in Scorpio I was guided to journey back to the place of the masculine who I believe was a catalyst for my awakening. I was guided to retrieve a part of me I left with him. I walked away from the connection almost 2 years ago ( I wrote about it in "The snake will always bite back" ), but I have left a part of me. An essence. An energetic imprint. In one of my journeyings while we were still in contact I saw us dance, merging in and out of our own and each other's bodies. Both wearing wolf skins. Alfa male & alpha female. In November, I quantum travelled back to his place to retrieve those wolf skins. Mine to retrieve that part of me that was compromised, but also his. He didn't deserve to be my Alpha Wolf Male. He was supposed to protect his Alpha Female, but instead he took advantage of her. So I retrieved what was authentically mine. And almost 6 months to a day, around Full Moon in Scorpio my new gorgeous grey, faux fur "she wolf' coat arrived. A confirmation from Spirit I have completed another lesson, I've aligned with and integrated new vibration. Here's to walking to the beat of my own drum. She-wolf is a woman who knows what she wants and is free of prejudice and preconceived notions. She's independent and doesn't rely on people for her happiness. She defends her deepest desires with teeth and claws like a wild animal. The wild within stirring in me for months finally being unleashed. I answer to no one. I am my own. I am sovereign. I welcome all the Goddesses back. The light and the dark. I AM THE POWER OF ALL MY INCARNATIONS.

"The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her." ~ Bob Marley

While I was working with all the Gods and Goddesses I was guided to research Kabbalah. I was called by the Tree of Life before, but never took full interest in its origin. Incredibly an amazing documentary showed up on my YouTube and I was in awe. I binge watched the entire 16 part series "Kabbalah Revealed" over one weekend only to realise my whole entire journey has been a clear progression and integration of the principles talked about in Kabbalah. What I came to realise on my journey was exactly the teachings of Kabbalah! How on earth could I have known all that?!?! The Creator existing as the pure source energy, formless. He then created the creature as the expression of the Source energy. Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, the vessels for the Divine Light to pour through. He created 10 vessels, but the vessels were too fragile to contain such a powerful, divine light. They broke open, split asunder, and all the holy sparks were scattered like sand, like seeds, like stars onto the Earth, the animals, humans...

This journey is about realisation of the divinity within everything and everyone and correction of the ego and coming back to the heart instead. Unconditional altruism, the disinterested and selfless concern for the wellbeing of others. How can I be of service? What can I do today to contribute to the humanity? It's not about serving your own needs, not about the accolades, but genuine interest to make this world a better place. Loving your friend as yourself. The problem is we carry too much trauma, have zero or not much self love for ourselves. We can only love others as much as we can love ourselves. We've lost touch with our divine lineage. We've descended through time and space into this, dense 3D world we now live in. Our egos and desires own us! Each to serve their own needs. The change starts with self-love and self value, the feeling of worthiness and deserving to be the vessel for the Divine light to express through us. With correcting our ego and healing and living a heart centred life and reclaiming one's divinity. We are Spiritual beings having a human experience. We are the expression of the Creator. Ego is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just simply trying to protect us, but it's not a good thing when it's rooted in fear. The thing is to unlearn everything that you're not and from that place of purity become truly rooted in the healed self and become the vessel for the Source light to pour through. And let your cup "runneth over" and spill onto others. I was in awe of all the downloads I was receiving.

Few days later I was guided to watch a documentary on Dogon tribe in West Africa. More information confirming my intuitive hits. I've always had a strong connection with Orion's Belt and Sirius and Lion's Gate. It is during Lion's gate that the veil is very thin and the downloads come in very fast. It's time of enlightenment. I have always been drawn to the stars and space and was getting a clear message that I need to look towards "three stars". The documentary was very interesting as it was talking about how the Dogon tribe believe and documented that Sirius is most likely not binary star system, but there might be a 3rd star, Sirius C. How on earth that tribe could possess all that knowledge that's only just being researched properly now and they knew about it for centuries! The tribe also talk about visitors from Sirius, a highly evolved race. The documentary went even more interesting when the man started talking about Greek and Roman Gods and how there was speculation the Gods we talk about in different mythologies might've been from different star systems and that most likely they were Mer/ Fish/ water beings. I've always had a very strong connection with water, dolphins, Mer people. The memories of my life as a Mermaid in Atlantis pretty clear now. I also have known for a very long time now I'm a starseed, but I could never really tell which star race I was from. Until now. With all the synchronicities happening in my life I was called to look into Lyran star seeds. Apparently Lyrans seeded Sirius and other Galaxies and helped seed Lemuria and Atlantis and they gave humanity the gift of fire!! I knew Sirius was calling me. One morning I was guided to meditate to connect with the Lion Star Race and the Blue Lodge Masters ( SIRIUS!!!). I lit a blue wish candle to help invoke their presence. It was super intense! When I did my meditation that morning I was greeted by the blue/ white crystalline beings that contacted me in my dream a while back. I wrote about it in "Homecoming". I literally was taken to that dream. They beckoned me and I followed. I entered what seemed like a space craft. It was so light, bright. Almost blinding. I lied down on a bed like platform. All pristine white. They proceeded to do some healing and DNA upgrades on me. They also looked like the same galactic council that joined me when I did a distant healing session for my dear friend. All these downloads were so profound I almost felt overwhelmed by all the information. Who am I??

Back in November around New moon in Scorpio, I was guided to meditate again. Scorpio brings with it a lot of deep transformative energy. It's only been a couple of months after my whole world got turned upside down. I walked away from everything I was not and was in search of my truth. Who I truly was. My core essence. As I surrendered to the meditative state I was greeted by an Aboriginal Elder. She knew very well who I was. I started feeling pressure down in my bottom and found myself lying on my back with my legs in stirrups. I felt the need to suddenly push. I was totally surprised by where this was going. The Aboriginal Elder grabbed my hand and said: " It's going to be tough, but you're going to be ok. You're made for this and your soul wants this. Be bold." And then with one big push I felt release and explosion of fireworks like energy. I didn't quite understand what that all meant, but I knew that I have just energetically birthed something magnificent. Because it happened around the New Moon I was excited to see what this would manifest into by around 6 months. Six months almost to a day and a couple of days after the Lion Race Meditation I found myself in my bell tent again. Guided to connect with and invoke Sekhmet, Goddess of the Sun. A powerful Lioness Goddess of war and protectress to her father Sun God Ra. She was associated both with disease and healing. Once again my intuition leading me towards the Empire of the Sun, my lineage. I lit a blue wish candle again and opened to receive the Source energy. I saw myself holding what looked like a newborn. I thought it was maybe from my other meditation with the Aboriginal Elder. Then thought the baby looked more like a near term foetus. It had a weird, bluish colour. I found myself in this underground cave. There was a water pool with blue crystalline water. The room was very dark, but that water in that water hole illuminated. I thought I'm meant to baptise/ cleanse that baby, but something was off. We did submerge once or twice. Then Sekhmet appeared. She opened a channel, a portal of white light that would take us up to Sirius. I wanted to take the baby with me, but she didn't want me to. The baby was gone. It had to stay behind... We transported to Sirius where we were greeted by the Galactic Council and where I received more healing. Tall, blue robed beings. Darkness of the Space around us, but us standing on a beautiful blue platform under a dome of protective energetic field. They kept repeating "fire". "You are the fire". Then Sekhmet approached me. She activated my heart, third eye, hands and feet. She gave me a symbol, to solidify this transmission. She gave me a seed! A small, brown unassuming seed. For a split second I was confused and then it came to me. She placed that seed in my womb. I was seeded! "9 months" I heard few times. When Sekhmet placed that seed in my womb I felt that energetically! That moment of "conception", magic of creation. I returned back to the cave. I offered the foetus to the blue water pool. It's little body turned to blue butterflies. Like the butterflies in the crown I made to invoke Berehynia.

Invoking Lilith was the last ritual I did before the last Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. I have worked with Lilith before and have researched my birth chart placements and then the other day her presence was very clear. It was time I embraced her essence. Lilith represents our deepest, darkest desires. I sat in quiet meditation in the morning and pulled her card from my Dark Moon Oracle Deck. Her card number 12 in perfect synchronicity with her exact 12°21' placement in my birth chart! I opened my journal and as I called her to come be with me I drew her sigil. The very moment I finished I heard a knock on the door which was an unexpected, but very welcome delivery. My new writing stationery arrived along with my new, 7th journal. Number 7 being Lilith's sacred number! I created an altar that morning. I lit another golden wish candle to invoke Lilith's presence and placed a rune I made. A crescent moon on top of a cross. Her symbol. I also lit black and red pillar candles her favourite and made an offering of menstrual blood for her. Every month I use a moon cup and make an offering from the blood I collect to Mother Earth and I also have a little bottle of dried up menstrual blood I keep for special rituals. Blood is an extremely powerful ingredient in divination. I offered Lilith a garnet bracelet, one of her favourite crystals and then with the rehydrated menstrual blood and a drop of fresh blood I again drew her sigil on a wooden disk and made an offering. I let the candles and jasmine incense burn all day. The aura around the candles was incredible. The journeying I did with Sekhmet a few days before, the seed she placed in my womb, garnet, menstrual blood... All connecting with my sacral chakra. Centre of our creativity and self expression. 

A couple of days after the Lilith invocation I tested positive to Covid. I avoided it for over 2 years and it was finally the time. I had a very high temperature for around 18hrs and a huge headache and some nausea. My theory is that my Covid + was actually an energetic upgrade to wherever I was ready. My crown, my third eye, my solar plexus as well as my sacral after on top of Covid starting the heaviest of moon cycles ever! I recovered really well, but I slept a lot that week. Integrating all the energetic upgrades I received. As I rested I binge watched the entire Pirates of the Caribbean which weirdly aligned with the New Moon/ Full Moon manifestation and the journeying I did that I wrote about in "The Anchor" where I was releasing heavy energetic anchors of a sunken ship that were holding me down. I can't believe I never really fully watched it before. Weirdly resembling my journey of reclaiming my personal power. From beautiful powerful Pirate and Navy ships I've seen in my journeyings, to another powerful dark Goddess Calypso, to Mermaids, to all the brutal hangings and sentencing, to Orion's Belt and Sirius and Blood Moon* that we were just about to experience, too! ( *Total lunar Blood Moon Eclipse in Scorpio). I'd lie, if I told you I understand all the experiences I go through. Life and the way everything's been unfolding so far is a "Sirius" mystery, but I know how these experiences make me feel. How utterly whole I feel. I know where I've been and how far I've come. And I have faith, I have this knowing there is a Divine plan for all this and I surrender to the journey with even more grace and humility.

I know my truth. I walk to the beat of my own drum. I'm truly happy in the light I'm in. Not many understand my journey and it's ok. It's not their job to make sense of it. It's mine. The paradox with my journey is that it took me from a person who gave away her power, then tried to control the feeling of safety in the world by making herself needed to a person fully surrendering the control to the Universe. Living from a place of surrender. And FAITH. That's empowerment! By surrendering to the journey and letting go of the need to control and by giving, growing, expanding and sharing my light, being unapologetically me I reclaimed my power. My right to be FREE.

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion." ~ Albert Camus

No one is out there to save you. You've got to save yourself. Find your core truth. Follow your own light. You can lie to others and put masks on all day long, but you can't lie to yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and admit it. Admit your fears. Face your shadows. Look where you struggle to shine most and that's exactly where the treasure within you lies. Untether yourself from pain and trauma, opinions and expectations of other. Expand beyond your 3D self. You are enough. Be your own therapist. See where ego might be guiding you and come back to the heart instead. Be magnificent.

I'm not sure when and if I'll write here again as a blog. There is so much to tell you. I've only just briefly touched on my thoughts and experiences here the last few months. I've always known I'm going to write a book one day. Maybe it's time to start on the first chapter...

Sending so much love your way. From my heart to yours. Marta x

There are wounds greater than this lifetime. But layer by layer you can uravel to reveal the pearl. Your true essence.

I've been working on strengthening my abilities to access my Akashic records. The Akashic records are an energetic library, a quantum field of all universal events, thoughts, words, emotions and intent ever to have occurred in the past, present, or future in terms of all entities and life forms, not just human. Akashic records are a compilation of all karmic cycles, lessons, traumas. We can carry the energy of an unhealed trauma to another lifetime, we can pass it onto our children. The ability to access our Akashic records enables us "going back" in order to heal. I've always had an unexplained fear of the ocean. I'm a great swimmer, but the sheer power of the ocean felt overwhelming especially when it came to my children making me uneasy whenever they were near water. I've done many journeyings into other dimensions in order to access my Akash. It revealed a connection to the water. In my other lives I was a fisherman's daughter, fisherman's wife, I got a snippet of my Viking connection and in my Lemurian experience I'd use my wisdom and my intuition to guide men to where to cast their nets for them then to bring the catch to me to bless. I had a vision of an underwater world. 

While looking for a new place to call home, we came across a gorgeous beach house near by. All the signs were pointing towards it. It even carried my lucky number! By that stage my heart was absolutely aching to be by the water and there was nothing I wanted more. I wanted it for myself, but I also wanted to give it to my kids. They were so excited about the prospect of living by the beach. I’d give them the stars and the moon if I could for all they've been through... We had a look at the house and we absolutely loved it! After the inspection, we went to the beach, sent a wish to the Universe and let it go. I was so close to living my dream. The beach house. And I had no issues with feelings of worthiness, but there was a heaviness on my heart.

The next day or two I decided to meditate to help manifest the house without realising I was manifesting so much more than a house. I saw myself walk up the dirt road. Then touched the stone figurines at the gate gently and introduced myself to the house. I wanted her to know, she's safe with us. We come with love. I asked for permission to hold us safe, to be our home for the next little while. The door was open. I walked in and walked through every room of the house gently touching the walls, cupboards, etc. Then I walked out onto the deck, looked towards the ocean and asked the spirits of the area for permission to move in until I find my FEET again...

In one of my past life regression sessions I saw myself run from an unhealthy partnership. It looked like around the times of Henry VIII. I finally gathered my strength to walk away, took my children and got on a ship. Unfortunately, the ship got caught in a huge storm. My children didn't not survive... That past life regression helped me realise why the subconscious fear of walking away deeply embedded in my psyche. That something bad is going to happen, if I chose “me”,  but I never looked at it as the reason for my fear of the ocean until recently. When we were walking to the car after inspecting the beach house, full of hopes and dreams, deep down I felt anxious. Anxious about my babies being so close to the ocean every day and keeping them safe from drowning. I was absolutely conscious of that fear and I knew it would't help with manifesting the beach house. And so we didn't get it, but I knew everything happened for a reason. I knew I wasn't quite ready for that house energetically and that something even more magical would come my way when the time was right. I processed the disappointment, wrote "Freefalling" and for now I wanted to get to the bottom of that fear. 

By that stage we were already after the move and at our current place which is a magical story of itself. A safe landing I manifested that I wrote about in "Freefalling". We didn’t get the beach house, but the Spirits of the area welcomed us in. I returned to the beach house area many times and even did a New Moon sunrise ritual with my crystal singing bowls on the beach. "To be fearless and to be truly free in expressing myself, my true essence" was my quiet intention.

"Spirit remove what no longer serves me. Emotional issues, wounds, trauma and patterning that keep me from moving forward into my beauty and power. 

My innate ability to create compassionate light everywhere I go.

I AM the power of all my incarnations.
This is my time."

I journeyed again. This time I was actually inspired to follow a guided meditation to clear all remaining ascension obstacles. I was just about to stop, because I wasn't sure, if it resonated and then there it was. I sobbed. I was in awe. The man mentioned anchor and chains and it took me straightaway to the ship that sank in my previous incarnation. The fear of the ocean! What's holding me back. The guilt of that sinking. The pain, trauma of that sinking. The energy of all those that perished that day. The energy still stuck in my quantum energetic field. Big heavy energetic anchors everywhere. I was aware of that trauma, but never actually released the energy of it. I found myself under the water. Swimming effortlessly and breaking the chains. Releasing the old energy. I used my hands, but it was hard so I started using the power of my intention to blow them up. I was under the water for a while and realised I'd be running out of breath soon. I felt a tickle in my throat and coughed then focused on a sphere of pure crystalline light in my chest and I was able to breathe again! At that stage I repeated after the man "I AM MAGNIFICENT" and more and more chains started exploding with the energy of my voice. "I AM MAGNIFICENT' I repeated yet again and more shackles broke into pieces. The release was so powerful. I had tears rolling down my cheeks from the sheer magnitude of what I was experiencing. And then finally with owning all my power, I repeated and felt the resonance in every cell of my body:

"I AM MAGNIFICENT!!!"

With the final sentence the whole shipwreck exploded with the most powerful waves of energy of my heart. It was gone...

Something started stirring in my soul after that journeying. The ocean was calling me loud and clear now. My mermaid tail arrived the other day. We didn't get the beach house not only because of my deep fear of the ocean and past life trauma surrounding it, but also because Spirit didn't want me to find my FEET. Spirit wanted me to find my Mermaid's tail again. When I wrote "Don"t Fail me now" my Mermaid's tail wasn't just a metaphor it was a glimpse into my past life.

" If something serves as a reminder of a Mermaid's past they will likely inhabit the area " ~  Unknown

After the shipwreck meditation I had a glimpse into my life as a Mermaid. I gave up my tail, a part of me for human love. He wasn’t ready to dive deep into the dark, unknown waters with me so I gave up on a part of me, my tail to be with the love of my life. But he couldn't love me the way I deserved to be loved ... I wanted to go back to the ocean. I took my children, but didn't realise they couldn't breathe under the water. They all perished. That wound of losing my children so deep. Lifetimes deep... 

I know that, as much as I'd love to, I can't be swimming around in the ocean all day, but I can embody the Mermaid Archetype. That part of me that was lying dormant for incarnations. Energy is first then it manifests in reality. You've got to feel it in every cell of your body. You have to be IT. There are times in our lives where it’s ok to dance to a different, magical tune. Reconnecting with my inner Mermaid and individuality and non-conformity are definitely her traits. This is not a woman that can be tamed. The Mermaid Archetype woman has intense psychic abilities, she's intuitive, she sees spirits, angels and other fantasy creatures easily. She works with energy. She is the Goddess of the Sea. She is the Sacred Feminine. She is the Divine Feminine rising. When Mermaid swims with you, she bings you into the realm of Waters, which also speaks of our emotions. She will challenge you to dig deep inside yourself to understand your fears and scars fully. Only by doing so you can heal fully.

I know that tail isn't a real part of my body, but it is real energetically to me and it is part of who I truly am and my connection to the ocean. It also brings closure and a new beginning. I know that by earning it back I have completed a major karmic cycle. Feet or fins, I am enough. Never again I will lose a part of who I am in the name of love or pleasing others. To be accepted, loved. I know my worth. I know who I am. I AM the power of all my incarnations! 

From my heart to yours. Marta ✨